You see, I've found myself surrounded by a certain level of mediocrity lately. Complacency. Negativity. Self-righteousness. Jealousy. And uglier yet, spite.
I have always specifically avoided conflict and conflicted people. I don't know if that is healthy or not, but I do not like to complicate my life. Many times, the path of least resistance is the one I prefer. Sure, you could call my avoidance some type of social laziness, but the fact is, I don't want to partake in the dirty underbelly of relationships. No thanks. I would prefer to keep the majority of my interactions naively positive, albeit superficial. (Cue: Don't worry, be happy.)
Despite my best efforts to avoid problems, it seems that some people must cause conflict; as if it is in their DNA to stir the pot. I assume that these people are either wrestling with a tremendous amount of stress, depression or boredom. "Well, if I don't have anything to say, I can always complain." I can't justify negativity and dysfunction any other way.
|Oh my god. Just stop.|
Thankfully, I have the self-awareness to recognize that other people's insecurities have been affecting me. I have felt a weight on me that was stealing my motivation, clarity and happiness. Barf. No, thank you! I am better than that. Giving in to the attitude around me is mental laziness.
This is where running comes in. I swear, there is a different girl that lives in my mind and she only comes out when I'm running. I have great conversations with her. She's the honest, no-nonsense one that says, "Who cares what these people are doing? They don't matter." Or "Why are you wasting your energy on this crap? You have important things to do that that don't involve petty BS." That chick is a badass. She reminds me to refocus, to regain the tunnel-vision that has always made my goals attainable. If you are a runner, you probably have your own resident badass that you look to regularly. (What would we do without them? Probably piss and moan.)
So - I had some of those pretty serious conversations (straight-up motivational speeches) with myself during my runs this weekend. I am looking forward to moving beyond the nonsense that I have let get to me lately. The fact is, haters gonna hate. I can't control the people around me, but I can control my own mind and my response. It looks something like this:
But seriously, nose to the grindstone. There are a million things that I am looking forward to, and I can't afford distraction at this point. The truth is, no one can. Whenever something like this gets me off-track, I am reminded that the devil is in distraction.
Well, Mr. Devil, screw you.
I have shit to do.
And I'll do it HAPPILY.