Saturday, October 4, 2014

I'm a mommy, not a marathoner (for now.)

Irresistible baby cheeks - good for pinching and kissing.
Allow me to introduce you to the tiny love of my life, Wolfgang Wilhelm...his friends call him Wolf. 

As I type this, he's quietly napping on my lap while we listen to sleepy hipster music from the early 2000s. He seems to like it. And I like this arrangement, too; there is nothing quite like having the weight of your baby on your chest. My life is a whole lot of this lately - the two of us sitting on the couch, getting to know each other while he eats, sleeps, cries and starts the cycle over again. It is a wonderful way to spend my days - and this is all I am cleared to do for three more weeks.

I ended up having a very complicated labor and delivery which resulted in an emergency C-section and a cocktail of drugs that left me loopy for about a week after Wolfie was born. I am genuinely thankful that my six week recovery period is only six weeks, because it could have been much worse. I am being a good girl, not over-doing anything - I don't want any more complications. I'm just giving my body the time it needs to get its shit back together (literally back together.) I am so glad I have the company and entertainment of my little buddy while I heal.
That face. Those eyes.
Tomorrow is Milwaukee's Lakefront Marathon - my favorite race. I have been feeling a little jealous of the people I see posting about it. I really wish I was running (although the forecast does not look ideal.) But there will be other races and I have to remind myself that I am doing something else that's super important and special right now - I'm being a mommy, not a marathoner. I think it is that shift in identity that I haven't fully realized and it feels like a blow to my ego to even type those words: not a marathoner, not a runner, not the thing you're known for being. It probably sounds so selfish - and it is in some capacity - I just haven't completely accepted the degree of change that has happened in my life. I am not the person that could dedicate 60 miles a week to training. I am not the person that had no commitments to anyone but herself. I AM the person that has a tiny, little monkey completely dependent on her and her time is best spent on a couch making goo-goo faces at him.



I can get back to working out in THREE WEEKS - no time at all. My current fitness goal is simply to run Lakefront Marathon in 2015. I won't put a strict time goal on the race, but I want to be in good enough shape to complete the distance in a year's time. I can definitely tell that I have lost a lot of my fitness over the last few months, so I have to give myself time to get back to where I was - lots and lots of time with my baby in his fancy BOB jogger. I can't wait for our quality time to shift from the couch to the roads.

GOOD LUCK, LFM RUNNERS!


5 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness, sending love hugs and kisses to you and your beautiful family! I'm so sorry to hear things were complicated, but thrilled to see that healthy dreamy baby boy!!! Emergency csection felt like it took me weeks to wrap my head around because it all occurred in the blink of an eye, leaving me with a sore wound and precious baby. If you need anything do not hesitate to reach out! Xoxo

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    1. Thank you! I didn't realize you had an emergency C-section too! Maybe one day you'll come back to WI and we can compare stories over coffee with our little guys. :) You're totally right though - it all happened in a blink of an eye. Did they put you all the way under? I was...so it was like lights out! Then I woke up with a baby. It was surreal to say the least. BUT - I cannot complain because both me and my baby are happy and healthy...thank God!

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  2. Good for you on taking care of yourself and enjoying the baby. I saw a friend limping on the path yesterday and she said she was going to run Chicago next week "come he'll or high water." I reminded her, they have this race every year. Milwaukee marathon comes every October, but Wolf's first months only happen once!

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    1. You're exactly right. I'm getting a little teary-eyed thinking about his "first months" right now...gotta soak up as much baby time as I can now, because this guy is going to be walking and talking before we know it.

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  3. Glad you are both happy and healthy! Enjoy the rest of your time off!

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